Many thanks to Steve for sending the story to me. The situation raises such international concerns that I felt I had to share it with you all:

AP release:

A public school teacher was arrested today at  John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, President Bush said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. The unidentified man has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a problem for us, ” Bush said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like ‘X’ and ‘Y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle”.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.”

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